My son grew up begging me to give him a little brother. He wanted a sibling so bad, he said he’d even take a sister. And sometimes, just to make his request even more impossible to satisfy, he asked for a twin brother.
“I wish I had a twin brother,” he would sigh. “That would be way cooler than just playing with myself all the time.”
He proceeded to pretend that he actually had a twin brother, someone to talk to and play with, for awhile.
I was glad when his father’s girlfriend gave him a little sister, although by then he was 10 and still preferred a twin brother to a baby girl. You can’t play cars or video games with a baby, so an imaginary twin would show up on the scene again from time to time.
When I asked him how he was getting along with his new baby sister, all he said was, “She cries a lot.”
“Well, that will change as she grows older,” I tried to reassure him.
“Yeah, but by then I’ll be all grown up.”
He did have a point. There was enough of an age difference between him and his sister that they would likely never really play with one another the way that my sister and I did when we were kids.
I thought that having a little half-sister would satisfy his urge to have a sibling, but it only made him want me to have another baby even more.
“Why don’t you have a baby, mommy?” he would ask. “Then I could have a brother.”
I would answer that if I had a baby, it might be a girl, and he didn’t seem to be overjoyed with having one already.
“Oh no, but that would be different,” he told me. “We would both be from the same mommy and then we would be closer.”
I couldn’t argue with his kid logic. Having gestated in the same womb in common with your sister or brother might make you closer than, say, not. But I don’t know if anyone’s ever done any studies on that, or whether it would make any significant difference in the long run. What I did know was that it was a touchy subject for me. As much as I might have wanted to give my son a little sibling, I’d never been with anyone who wanted a baby with me since his father.
So I was elated to find enduring love this past year with a man who has a son nearly my son’s age. Now he practically has that twin brother he’s always wanted. They’re already calling each other “brother” and behaving as if they’ve been siblings for years. His new brother from another mother is amazing, and I am so glad that they get along so well.
Now if I could just get him to stop asking me to have another baby…